Orphan Black, or how I forgave Canadian TV for Primeval: New World.

If you’re not watching Orphan Black, you should! It’s probably one of the best shows on TV right now. I’ve watched every single episode thus far, and I can’t get enough! I think the last Canadian TV series I’ve enjoyed this much was You Can’t Do That on Television or Kids in the Hall. I mean, sure Lost girl And Continuum are decent –– sure I’m a little jealous that we don’t have Hockey Night in America –– but as far as shows originating in Canada, none of them have quite done it for me recently until I started watching Orphan Black. In fact, Orphan Black might, just might, be enough of a good show, that I might… just might… forgive Canadian TV for the debacle that is/was Primeval: New World.

Ok, let me back up. If you’ve never seen the original BBC series, “Primeval,” maybe you should just stop reading this right now and watch it now. You done? Good. See what I mean? It’s just that good! I took a trip to the coast with seasons 1 and 2 in tow. I watched every episode. Seriously – the show was so good, there were days I stayed in my hotel room longer than I should. The beautiful Oregon Coast on the mighty Pacific Ocean was just a few blocks away, but I preferred to stay in and watch Primeval. When I got back from the coast, I thoroughly made sure to watch the seasons 3-5. I’ve got to wonder if this is how crack addicts feel! I just wanted more! More! More!

And then the dark times came.

Like a crack addict, I was going through some serious withdrawals after I finished season 5. I would check the web to see about a possible season 6 – and nothing. Nada, zilch, nein…you get the picture – I just wanted more, but there was no more to be had! I seriously considered flying to England, and holding up a sign outside of the BBC offices, “Will work for new episodes of Primeval.” Finally, after months of desperation and withdrawal, a light from the North….a spin off series, Primeval: New World. Oh sure – I had my reservations. I mean, part of what made Primeval proper so good were the amazing characters. There was Conner and Abbey and the will they or won’t they relationship. There was Professor Nick Cutter and his witticisms (I said it was beautiful; I didn’t say it was friendly), there was Jenny (no, not the one from Rilo Kiley) Lewis, who’s secrets I won’t reveal….the entire ensemble was just remarkable! So…could they repeat, could the replicate this amazing cast in Vancouver? Well….maybe. They got Conner to sail on over to the new world, and that was a good start!

So the wait was on….I heard it was playing in Canada but not available in the states, no matter what shady streaming methods I tried. I had to be patient until it came on American TV or Hulu. I tried to get a hold of the DVDs, but to no avail. I remember during that time emailing a friend of mine in Canada saying that if New World sucked, I would personally vote for any candidate that favored war with Canada. Long story short, I voted for Mitt Romney. Just kidding…I don’t think Mitt favored war with Canada, and it was after the election anyways -but back to how much New World sucked. Conner only appeared in two episodes and the characters of New World really just lacked that same charisma we found in the original series. I didn’t expect a repeat of the Original characters, but I did expect some depth to the characters and I did expect to actually care whether or not the characters lived and died. Honestly, by the end of the third episode, I was kind of hoping a T-Rex would hop on through an anomaly and rip the entire bunch to shreds. I have a major rule with fiction – make me care about the characters. If I hate the characters, I’m 99% of the time going to hate the book, TV series, film, or what have you. So yeah – I hated the characters in New World. But also, the New World was darker, and more adult. It just wasn’t as fun as the original! The original felt like a roller coaster at times, sure, but at the end you had a lot of fun riding the damned thing. New world, on the other hand got you from point A to point B, yeah, but it felt more like riding a crowded train at rush hour. The only surprises were unwanted ones much akin to the guy who hasn’t bathed, shoving himself into the empty seat next to yours. Primeval: New World felt like a military and/or police drama that just happened to deal with dinosaurs and the like. The long and short of it – I hated Primeval: New World! I felt like Canadian TV took a very beloved series of mine and used it as toilet paper. I didn’t even bother watching the entire series. I think I stopped 8 episodes in, and I’m the type who always finishes a series, even if I hate the series.

I’ve ranted on and on about how bad New World was, when this is supposed to be an article about how good Orphan Black is. Oh, but I did this on purpose. I wanted you to know how much disdain I have for New World – because I’m saying that the sins of Canadian TV’s Primeval: New World just might be forgiven with the series Orphan Black. In fact, the crack addict feeling I got while waiting for new episodes of Primeval is one and the same with the feeling I’m getting right this very moment as I wait for a new episode of Orphan Black. I want more….and I want it now! And I want a full 26 episode season….none of this ten episode thing we got with season one! I NEED MY FIX!

So….dear Canadian TV people. You’ve got a really good thing going with Orphan Black. Don’t, for the love of all that is good and holy, mess this one up. We let you slide on Primeval: New World, so you kind of owe us already. Besides, you saw what we did to Iraq because of some fabled WMDS.
Sincerely – your gun toting, war mongering neighbors to the south.