Pointless rants

Just me, shooting my mouth off or something.

  • General geekiness,  Other writings,  Pointless rants,  Social Commentary,  Technology,  The Internet

    Even if I’m wrong, I’m right and that’s why I write….

    Wrong or right, I have no idea what to write, I just know I need to write. The reason I need to write is because I want to be a success. I want more hits to my blog, and I read something somewhere saying if I post more often, I’ll get more hits. I also need to make sure that if I write the right stuff, I’m not wrong. Does that sentence make any sense to you? Well, it shouldn’t – but it makes my readability score turn green and that means more hits from Google and Bing and Yahoo. I’m supposed to repeat certain words several times, like write,…

  • General geekiness,  Humor,  Pointless rants

    The best stuff ever! Part one….

    Stuff! Stuff is cool! Stuff is good! Stuff is awesome! Well, maybe not all stuff. But a lot of stuff is cool and awesome and good! And some stuff is cooler and awesome-er and uhhh good-er. Wait, that’s not how you say that! Better! Better! Holy crap better! But I digress. Some stuff is better than other stuff. So what’s the best stuff though? What’s the cream of the crop as far as stuff goes? Well, I’ll tell you darnit! I’ll tell you right now!!!!! Sit down, because sonny boy or girl, you’re about to get schooled with the best stuff ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Coast Yes, the coast! It’s calming, it’s…

  • General geekiness,  Music,  Pointless rants,  Television

    Show me that smile again….Or, whatever happened to the TV theme song

    The 80s and 90s were a golden age of music…we had New Wave, alternative, pre-alternative, punk, and a million other amazing genres. Even the theme songs from sitcoms knew where it was at. We had such classics as Family Ties (what would we do baby, without us?), The Facts of Life (You take the Good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have), Perfect Strangers, Who’s the Boss, Silver Spoons, Full House, Friends, The Wonder Years…I could literally fill this entire article up with examples of memorable, and quite frankly, amazing sitcom theme songs from 1980 through the year 1999. I can’t even fill a quarter…

  • Humor,  Pointless rants,  Portland,  Social Commentary

    The Slug Bug is dead! Long live the Smug Bug!

    Back in the 80s, the Volkswagen beetle was as common as a can of new Coke, the phrase “totally radical” or a pair of Esprit jeans. Combine the VW Bug’s popularity with the iconic and easily spotted shape, and it was the perfect car for a road game. The rules of this game varied from family to family – some played “slug bug” (or punch buggy), where siblings were encouraged to punch each other as hard as they could whenever they spotted a VW Bug. My family liked to play “Herbie,” where it was a contest to see who could spot the most. I suspect this was because I was…

  • Food and Drink,  Humor,  Pointless rants

    Oh rotten banana, you are my bane!

    Yesterday, I went to the store and bought some nice, yellowish green bananas. Just the way I like them – they should be nice and tasty. I usually take a few to work with me and leave them on my desk, but I forgot my damned bananas this morning. As if matters couldn’t get any worse, the bananas I brought with me yesterday were sitting on my desk,rotting and brown. I knew they were rotten and this is precisely why I bought bananas last night to begin with! What sane person actually buys bananas when they already have perfectly good bananas? But I digress… The point is the brown bananas…

  • General geekiness,  Humor,  Other writings,  Pointless rants

    Coffee Lost numbers: Buffy vs Twilight

    If you read the title for this post and said “What a bunch of foolish gibberish!” while throwing your device of choice out the window because you thought that aaronjedwards.com was supposed to actually make sense, well…I’ve got news. Firstly, you’ve got some issues: I mean, when has ANYTHING on aaronjedwards.com ever made sense? Secondly – that title IS gibberish – kind of. The terms “coffee,” “lost numbers,” and “Buffy vs Twilight” are the top three terms of all time that direct google users to aaronjedwards.com. This has inspired me to write a post which does nothing but capitalize on every search term that has ever directed people to this…

  • Holidays,  Humor,  Movies and Film,  Pointless rants,  Television

    If you don’t watch these Christmas shows, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!!!

    CHRISTMAS! FREAKING CHRISTMAS! And what good is Christmas without cool Christmas specials? So here’s some you should be watching. If you’re not watching them, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!!! 1) A Christmas Story – Watch this. Watch it twice. Watch it three times! JUST FREAKING WATCH IT!!! Seriously – what is not to like about this movie? There are maybe five movies I can quote from memory, and this is one of them! You’ll shoot your eye out! So help me God he had yellow eyes! 2) The Grinch that stole Christmas – No, no, no – not the one staring Jim Carrey – gosh! Are you even listening to me?…

  • Humor,  Music,  Pointless rants

    6 unfortunately named CCM bands of the 80s and 90s

    Music snobbery and nostalgia just doesn’t mix well. I’ll find myself listening to the most horrid songs (Usually CCM) just because I liked said song in 1991. Still, my always analytical brain is pointing and laughing at the forced rhythms, the cookie cutter harmonies, the forced lyrics, and even the names of the bands. I realize once a band chooses a name, they usually stuck with it for the duration. A band name is usually just as permanent as a tattoo. Even more reason to be very careful when you name your band. Like I said – I listened to a bunch of Christian music in the 80s and 90s,…

  • General geekiness,  Humor,  Pointless rants,  Star Trek,  Technology

    If Windows 8 was a Star Trek Movie

    I’m typing this on my brand new Laptop. Said Laptop came with the dreaded software bug, otherwise known as Windows 8. I HATE Windows 8. It’s clunky, it’s interface is designed for a touch screen (vs. designed for a full on computer), and it’s extremely unintuitive (I had to make a short cut to the control panel because it’s so buried), and it’s changed so many standards that we’ve come so familiar with (coughs – start menu!). A friend of mine said if Windows 8 were a movie, it would be Star Trek V: the – oh I can’t even remember the name of that crappy movie. Just that it…

  • Coffee,  Humor,  Pointless rants

    Coffee common sense…

    It happened again yesterday….I wandered into the kitchen at work for a caffeine fix. I poured a cup of coffee, tasted it, and almost spewed a mouthful of hot liquid all over the floor! Now, no offense to my coworkers, they’re generally brilliant people who do their jobs well, but they would make the worst baristas ever. Seriously, it’s not all that difficult to make decent coffee, but there are some basic rules they really need to learn and follow. So what are these rules? Well, I’m sure if you’re reading this, I’m probably preaching to the choir, but I’ll tell you anyways. Number one. CLEAN YOUR FREAKING EQUIPMENT AND…